Jokes for Chemists

After a stressful day at school, including not arriving home until 8 due to parents’ evening, I rewatched the vlogbrother’s video 31 Jokes for Nerds, and despite having watched it on numerous occasions it still made me smile, so I thought I would make a post about the best nerdy jokes I’ve found on the internet, this time focusing on chemistry – enjoy!

I told a chemist a joke. There was no reaction.

How often do I enjoy chemistry jokes? Periodically.

A man walks into a bar and orders some H2O. His freinds says “That sounds good, I’ll have some H2O too”. The freind died.

The name’s Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a pint. The bartender says “For you, no charge”.

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date? It went OK.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve Noble Gases in here!” Argon doesn’t react.

Have you got any Sodium Hypobromite? NaBrO.

I blew up my chemistry experiment. Oxidants happen.

My chemistry teacher always told me, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

A small piece of ice fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you” said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :”It’s just a phase you’re going through”.

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was Polar.

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.

What ghosts haunt chemistry labs? Methylated spirits.

The Silver Surfer and Iron Man would make great alloys.

Know any jokes about sodium? Na.

What do you call a benzene ring if the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferris wheel.

Why did the chemist cover his shoes in silicone? To reduce his carbon footprint.

What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograoh suffer from? Seperation anxiety.

What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph? Breaking up is hard to do.

Sorry for all the groan-worthy jokes, but all the good ones argon!

Advertisements

One thought on “Jokes for Chemists

  1. Methanoic acid was walking on the pavement and he met PCl3.
    PCl3 puched him and he said, “OH-“!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s